sexta-feira, maio 25, 2018

Before Sunrise

It was Five in the afternoon. I have first met you less than twenty four hours ago when you invited me to go for a coffee. For only two hours, you said, you had plans for later. That annoyed me but I didn't oppose it. You were one of the most beautiful women I've met in years and I didn't want to ruin it.
We met in a park nearby. You wanted coffee, I wanted to take you to a Point of View.
We had the coffee first accompanied by a not-so-great Pastel de Nata and after you agreed to go with me. On the way we passed by Campo Martires da Pátria, you took some pictures of the ducks and then we arrived to Jardim do Torel. It's calm there, beautiful and not so touristic. We sat on the benches and we start chattering about life, past relations, beliefs, interests, hobbies.
You are addicted to sports and you did volunteer work on the Peruvian Rain Forest caring for baby monkeys. You came to Portugal for surfing, after learning how to do it in Peru. You do yoga and play the piano, are vegetarian and interested in meditation. You are mystical but you don't over do it, you are very down to earth. You express yourself with a subtle German accent and rationality.
You are so interesting and so beautiful with your brown hair, blue eyes and astounding body. It could have been intimidating but I played it cool. I was funny and kind. I tried to seem smart and wise. We stayed there for over an hour when I suggested we should take a walk. You gave up your imminent plans to stay with me but you had the pub crawl later. You don't drink but you wanted to see how it was.
We went down the street to the Avenue and I showed you Praça da Alegria. You hugged a tree that you said it looked like it had a belly. I invited you to go to the Vegan Buffet and cajoled you into giving up your plans, I would make you your own personalized pub crawl. You loved the Vegan Buffet idea. We walked up to Marquês, I kept making jokes and talking about my opinions about life and how things should be. I spoke too much. You said you are more of an introvert but you always had an answer to give me. You are open but reserved, you don't give yourself easily. You told me you don't feel comfortable spending much time with men because they always expect something from you. I rambled about my ideas about the battles of the sexes. It's all a dance, after all. In the park, we walked to the Cold Greenhouse and we sat in a stone bench facing the lake. I talked about my passion for Boom Festival and how I believe it made me a better person. I insisted you should come. We stayed there for some time, then walked up hill to see the view of Lisbon and sat under the Portuguese flag while some nearby people were doing exercise. It was almost sunset and it was getting cold. We went up and around the lake. We took some pictures of the water lilies and a turtle warming itself on top of an underwater lamp. We came to my house to get my jacket and then to your hostel to get yours. We were starving so we stopped for a vegetarian samosa on the way. We started to feel more comfortable with each other's presence and I hugged you smoothly after a joke. We walked down the Avenue and up the hill to Largo do Carmo. You complained of walking so much, I kept you motivated with my humor and promises of a good time.
We arrived to the restaurant. I ordered a beetroot, apple and ginger juice. You never tried it before and you were suspicious but decided to give it a try. We served ourselves with a lot of food. You loved the juice and the food. You opened all your heart at this moment. It was the first time I saw you smile like you were really, really happy. We shared a delightful dinner.
You paid your own meal, I told you I make the best Sangria and convinced you into trying some. We sat on a lovely tapas bar terrace, close to the street heater and under some blankets. You looked beautiful on this dark environment lit by the flickering light of the fireplace-like heater. We ordered two glasses. It was damn expensive and it was too sweet, my Sangria would be better, I complained while bragging. I squeezed the lemon and it tasted better. You did the same. At this moment we felt free to open to each other. You told me about your meditation practices and how you freaked out after an outer body experienced. I told you about my psychedelic experiences and how I was too stubborn for group practices, even if I had my own spirituality. You told me how your ex-boyfriend made you feel fat and that's why you were addicted to the gym. I told you how my ex-girlfriend broke my heart again and again. The waiters wanted to close the bar but we would've stayed there all night. We went to Bairro Alto and you felt like listening to Live Music.
I took you to a place I thought it would be Brazilian music but it was Spanish. We stayed there a while but it was over crowded and not so great. We went to another bar and it was perfect. Brazilian live music, full of rhythm. You had already broken your no alcohol rule and I told you I didn't want to be drunk alone, as I would get too flirty. We decided to share a Caipirinha. Then another one. We danced for a long time. All the guys kept talking to you, I pretended I didn't care. Eventually the music stopped, the bar was closing. We walked down hill, I said I would show you the Pink Street. We passed by but we kept walking and sat in front of the river. You told me a lot about Peru, about the baby monkey you adopted and how you could recognize him among other monkeys. How huge the spiders, the snakes and the ants were. How everybody got sick on the Amazon and how worthy it was. The fish were jumping on the river and the moon shined brightly which allowed us to see them while we heard the splashes.
We walked to Praça do Comercio and up Rua Augusta. You were hungry so I suggested Mcdonnald's and you said you hated the corporation. I said the McVeggie is not so bad and you trusted me. We sat close to the fountain in Rossio while we ate.
I said I really felt like kissing you. I said I didn't want to be like all the other guys you meet. I felt awkward and stood up. You followed me and put your arm around mine. We walked up the Coliseum Street. I told you how much I liked talking to you, how beautiful you are, how good I felt with you. You reciprocated and we kissed. You are an amazing kisser. It was Five in the morning.

quarta-feira, maio 16, 2018


Andei de muletas o que pareceu uma eternidade.
Pensei que me ajudavam a manter erguido.
Que me davam o apoio necessário para continuar.

Agora que vejo com mais clareza,
na verdade, impediam-me de correr.

Fantasiei com este dia.
Sem este peso eu seria capaz de tudo.
Na verdade, haverão sempre dificuldades pelo caminho
mas, pela primeira vez desde o Inicio dos Tempos,
estou ansioso de percorrer a estrada.

sábado, fevereiro 03, 2018

Da malinha de mão do meu coração

cruzo-me contigo num fim de tarde de Inverno.
Desvias o olhar mas, desta vez, eu vou na tua direcção.
Olá. Respondes. Vamos tomar um café? Que tal jantar?
Aceitas. Dirigimos-nos a um pequeno restaurante que conheces.
Por trás o sol põe-se, o céu satura com vermelho e roxo, uma folha castanha cai no chão.
Numa mesa ao canto partilhamos uma garrafa de vinho sob uma luz ténue.
Conto-te sobre a minha loucura, as minhas experiências surreais e como continuo a ser a pessoa mais sortuda do mundo. Falas-me das tuas viagens, do teu trabalho, da tua mãe.
Debruço-me sobre a mesa e apoio o queixo na mão. Admiro-te. Pareces feliz. Eu também estou.
Saímos e caminhamos junto ao mar. De chinelos na mão, a areia fria faz-se sentir esmagada pelos pés. Estamos a rir e eu tento-te abraçar. Foges. Agarro-te e caímos.
Por cima, o Universo reflecte a sua luz.

quarta-feira, outubro 04, 2017

meu mundo solitário

Due to our fleeing existence,
the concept of belonging seems so vain...
Like sand running through our fingers,
everything in this life is an ephemeral illusion.

Such mass effort to survive and thrive.
Can you see we're not going anywhere?
The Universe doesn't need us.
It will end just like it started.
Utter Nothingness.

I had long talks with thousands of people. Shared charming moments with some of them. Consulted psychologists. Brainstormed with life coaches. Watched Shamans prescribe their cosmical advice. I travelled halfway across our Planet. Breathed amazing landscapes, ingested different cultures, hugged strangers like they were another myself. I lived astonishing coincidences that made me believe in a higher force. Sometimes felt realization using my brain. Others, using my body. The strength of narcissism, the beauty of selfness. For a minute there I felt true love and like there was something bigger feeding on it, that the rotation of the Universe depended on it.
I'm grateful for such a blessed existence.

I have no idea what is expected from Us or what's the point of all of this.
My experiences somehow collide with my vision,
I'm drawn by intensity. I want more action, more knowledge.
I keep being remembered to not want so much.
To learn to let go, to let it flow,
to just Be.

sexta-feira, setembro 22, 2017

faça desse drama a sua hora

that chapter is over..
I understand life, now.
I understand the Universe.
I understand Time.
I am bigger than the meat shell that surrounds me.
I am a White World Bridger.
I am in this life to make people connect. 
this life is about death and rebirth.
we're not meant to be forever but only the time it takes to learn the lesson.

Ten years

My last ten years were about release.
Release from You.
From all the regret. From all the expectations.

release from the Self.

It's so hard.
Sometimes I get it.
There are times when I'm able to withdraw this dark hole of selfishness
and become a being through which the universal light shines.

The return is intense.
I learnt that there's no correct way to Be.
I can forgive my Self and move on with kindness.

sábado, fevereiro 27, 2016

cada dono de boteco te sorri agradecido

as I give my best to you
I'm sure we are living a beautiful moment.
I end up being the one who's enjoying the most
since it's just my best, not yours.
It may hurt to admit it but I have nothing more to give
and all I can do is hope that, one day, I'll find some one who appreciates
me. for myself.

domingo, fevereiro 21, 2016

in the waiting line

sentados com as pernas suspensas sobre cidade
lembrei-me que não é necessário ir ao deserto
para ter um momento que dura uma vida

domingo, novembro 29, 2015

this world

the first time we kissed,
there was a blast of bright light
that expanded from under the desert stars
all the way across the universe
and, with that, the balance of the cosmos was restored.

Nothing was ever the same
but the event had a particular effect on us.
Although we both somehow knew we were fulfilling our destiny at that moment
the release was too strong for our weak physical existences.

quinta-feira, novembro 19, 2015

she could set me free

dou por mim
thinking so many times
em ti que não consigo deixar
believing that we are somehow
ligados. que também pensas em mim.
or that I'm just crazy. without
confirmação, nem de um lado
nor the other.

quinta-feira, outubro 06, 2011

the drugs don't work

navegas nas nuances do teu Futuro convencido que seguras o leme
mas acabas por seguir para onde a corrente te leva.

waiting on a angel

estou contigo. conversamos felizes. beijo-te muito delicadamente. sinto algo bastante intenso.
Acordo. não estás aqui. estás a milhares de quilómetros. e nunca foste minha.
estás a pensar em mim? sinto que estamos ligados. tens algo especial.
quero estar contigo. quero que sintas o mesmo. sentes esta magia?
Levanto-me. percebo o ridículo. não pensas em mim. o teu mundo é outro.